The Practice of Letting Go

Steve Told Us

By Leo Babauta

Most of our stresses and frustrations come from our unwillingness to let go.

Hear me out: think about something you’re stressing about, or someone you’re frustrated about. What thought do you have about that person or situation that causes the frustration? It’s often an invisible thought, that we don’t realize we have, but if you were to speak it out loud, it would feel really true.

Try writing it out with one of these prompts:

“They shouldn’t …”

“If I fail, it will mean …”

“I wish things weren’t so …”

Then fill in the blank.

What thought or belief do you have that’s causing your stress or frustration? If you can identify that, you are halfway there.

Now think about how true that thought or belief feels to you. It probably feels like absolute truth. This is the part that we’re unwilling to let go of — the truth of that thought/belief.

What if you could recognize it as a thought or belief, and not as an absolute truth?

Could you see ways that the opposite might be true? For example, if you think of ways that someone “always” acts in a certain way, can you see any times when they didn’t? If it feels like you can’t catch a break, can you see times when life gave you a gift?

What would your life be like if you didn’t have this belief?

In the moment when you considered that question, you let go.

Notice how that works: you imagine life without the belief, and suddenly you have peace.

What if you could practice it every time you had frustration or stress?